Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Book Review: 50 Shades of Grey (or “The story of how I knew I didn’t care for the Twilight books/movies at all so why did I think I would enjoy this”)
Thursday, October 4, 2012
I want to throw stuff. Really just toss stuff around. Random things. However, I don't. For a couple reasons. First, I can't throw hard or accurately or for any distance - like that paper airplane you toss but lands at your feet? That's me with a ball some days. So, what would the point be?
Secondly, I'd have to pick it all up. Where's the fun in going batshit crazy for a period of time tossing things about if you are the one that has to clean it all up? You spend the time cleaning bitching about the mess you made. Oh, and if anything broke? Then you bitch at yourself about the money you now have to put out to replace something.
Finally? I'd wear myself out so badly that I'd hurt for a month.
It's so difficult to communicate with normals. They just don't understand. Not to mention those peeps that spend their entire lives complaining about this ache or that pain or the one's that ask you how you feel and when you tell them say, "Now you know how I feel" or "Join the club."
Uhm, no. No, I don't really. And you have no clue how I feel. I hate those sayings. Seriously, what a freaking cop-out and rude as hell.
NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL or JOIN THE CLUB
Now you know how I feel? Why? You have MS/Fibro/Misc Neuro Condition, too? Wow. Awesome.
Can I join the club? Will we get jackets? Are refreshments provided? I ask because my stomach has issues with some foods and I don't like the heartburn that comes after.
It's so hard to get people to understand how you feel. A really good friend linked me to a great article called "The Spoon Theory" by Christine Miserandino. Her website is www.butyoudontlooksick.com and is amazing. The article is a great way to explain how people with "invisible" illnesses live.
Honestly, if you know someone with Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, or anything like that, her site is a great place to get some helpful info about how to be supportive and thoughtful.
Misplaced "friendly" and "helpful" comments are often more hurtful to our psyches than many would think. It drives me nuts to be thought an invalid. I know what my limits are and I choose to accomplish what I can with what I have, but don't think I can't do anything. I can do whatever I choose to do. It's my choice. If I choose to do something and know I'll pay the consequences for it, it is still my choice.
Like the time I went to my son's high school play the day after a really, really problem filled, complication riddled spinal tap. I went in sweats, sat on a pillow, and was on major pain pills, but I saw my son and enjoyed myself. It made me happier to be there and watch him than it would have had I stayed at home, moped, cried, and lay in bed. It was my choice.
Also, don't assume because I say I am tired that I am done for the day. Again, this is my choice. I know that if I am running low, I can rest. I rest then resume my activity that I choose to do. Don't think I'm not going to finish or I'm going to "flake" on it and take it upon yourself to either finish it for me or make excuses for my not finishing it. Back off. I know my limits.
Yes, sometimes I go over my limits, but I know the consequences and honestly, I can plan for them. If I know that something like going to my kids' activities is going to tap me then I plan for a restful next day.
I have always been a bit anal retentive about calendars and planning things, but I find I am so much more like that now. I'm a scheduler and I really get pissy when someone or something, like my health, gets in my way.
Go check out Christine's site. Venture to the links. Think of it as a fun and educational vacation into knowledge. Even now, in my 40's, I try to learn something new everyday. I encourage it in others.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Let me tell you something, you random person that might one day read this...Depression sucks. Sucks fucking big time. Right now, I couldn't give a rat's rear end about who reads this and who doesn't. I also couldn't care less about most others right now. Right now, I have just about lost my faith in almost everyone in my life.
You have no idea. I don't even want to read right now. Nope. And if you knew me outside of the interwebz, you would understand how freaking serious that is. I love books. I love reading. Usually. But right now, I have no clue why I even bothered to charge my Kindle.
Screw Y Chromosomes. You guys just suck. Seriously. First of all, I don't really know one I can trust and count on anymore. I mean there might be a couple...like my dad....or this one friend... but I don't want to burden this one Y Chromosome with my issues because he has enough of his own.
I am not that hard to please. Honestly. Seriously. It doesn't take a lot of work. I'm fairly low maintenance. But FUCK, get with it.
Bugger off friends that only want to be your friend when they need something. I have no issues with friends that have been there for you, and really need you. Feel that they can call you when they have a problem. BUT when they never call to say HI or Let's do coffee, or whatever...only to say, Hey, can you ...
Get a life, children that can't grasp it. Selfish little snots. Been there for you whenever you've needed me, but you can't be big hearted enough to even talk to me when I need you or adult enough to give others a chance. Go buy your own food and shit.
I've just about had it. I'm at the end of my thread. I have no patience left, no hope, no trust in others, and certainly, no faith in government. I need a cave to crawl into and just be alone for awhile. Maybe have a good cry.
Next person that asks me for something? Fuck off. I give up.
Too bad I am too damn responsible to just quit and run away. Heaven forbid I quit my job and take care of me. I mean, then I wouldn't be able to be your mall.
To those that may actually care, I apologize for you having to read through my rant and I'll get back to regular blogs soon. Maybe. I hope.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a short drive.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.
People keep telling me I'm in Denial, but I'm positive I've never been there before!
I have been in Deepsh-t many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there.
So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.
I have been in Cahoots. However, if I tell you about it, I'd have to kill you.
I've been in Sane so much that I have the t-shirt, key ring, and tote bag.
I've given up in Vincible - turned in my cape and mask.
LOL, hope you are smiling, too.
P.S. This is to loosen you up to a more serious post later. Sigh.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Okay, so after a few technical difficulties, I am back. Been a long couple months, but I am back on track. Woot!
Okay, I think I am back on track. Sigh.
So, you will start seeing my posts on a more regular basis. Even if it is just to check in and say hi!! The fact that I needed my daughter to help me figure this page/site out is actually embarrassing. But there it is. I will ask that you forgive any misspellings that spell check doesn’t catch in my posts. My neuro condition has a symptom of making me misspell words that any 3rd grader can spell. Sigh. Sucks, but there it is.
I have been working on my bucket list. My view is this: if I keep working on it, and keep adding to it, then I can’t waste away. I’ll have too much to do and those that know me know that I hate leaving a to do list undone. It drives me nuts. I have managed to chip away a few of my OCD traits over the years and it’s been good for me. Not worrying so much about little crap. Letting stuff roll. I tend to go by the rule of if I can’t fix it, I have to let it go.
I preach that there is always a way. It may not be obvious, but it’s there. You just have to find it. The harder it is to find, the more important the situation.
In another post today, you will get my first formal spewing of opinion. Trust me, you unlock that door, be careful what you let out. My inner bitch is a force to be reckoned with. She’s mighty nasty at times and rather difficult to lock back up in her box. Feisty Wench.
So, I do take suggestions. If someone has one of those 100 questions a day or pictures a day things, send it to me and I’ll try to do it on my blog. Let you guys see some of the eccentricities that run through my head. Wink! I know I am an odd duck, but I’m a cute duck.
Kick me an email, ask me a question, ask me an opinion, and I’ll give it to ya!